Acceptance
by SummerRaeBenson
Summary: Acceptance can be hard to take. It's not always something worth accepting. When forced to deal with it, we do, but we don't like it. Olivia deals with Elliot's departure in the end of the 12th season. It's now in the 14th season and she finds ways to stay close. One-shot!


**Please review! I just wanted to write something like this.**

"But you weren't" Olivia said finishing her drink as she talked to Alexandra Eames at the bar. _It's like we were married._ She said. Olivia knew her words were true in so many ways. The alcohol did nothing to sooth the burning in her chest. "Look, I have to get up early tomorrow. How about we get a drink another time?"

"Sure, I've got your number. Have a nice night, Liv." Alexandra said giving her a brief hug.

"You too." Olivia said plastering a fake smile on her face. She walked out of the bar and started walking towards her apartment. Thoughts of the past few years came flooding back.

_"You can't keep his desk as a shrine." Cragen said. _

_"Liv," Alex started. "I'm really sorry about Elliot."_

_"If Elliot were here, he'd give you a reality check." Casey said when Olivia was hurting more than ever._

_Cragen let out a breath. "Elliot put his papers in."_

_"He probably needs some space, Liv." Fin suggested trying to make her feel better about him not calling back._

Olivia's feet were glued to the sidewalk. She suddenly felt to overwhelmed to walk to her apartment. A taxi was coming towards her; she waved her arm. The cab pulled over and she got in. Silent tears fled down her cheeks as the cab driver took her to where she wanted to go.

The cab dropped her off at her apartment. She got in her car and went to the pier. Elliot always said that when he needed to get away, this is where he would go. It made her feel closer to him. The night he came to see her played in her mind.

_"Elliot!" Olivia gasped. She had been crying. That was the day that Cragen told her Elliot wasn't coming back. "What are you doing here?"_

_Elliot hugged her instead of answering her. "I needed to see you."_

_"Why?" Olivia asked since she didn't know otherwise._

_"I couldn't... I couldn't let you think... that I was running from you." Elliot whispered. "I needed... to prove that... it's the least I could do."_

_"What are you talking about?" Olivia asked pulling away enought to look into his eyes._

_Elliot let out a breath and closed his eyes. This was hard for him. The whole situation was hard for him. "I... I won't be living in New York for awhile. Uh... it's really complicated. I'm going to be in Washington. I... I just... I needed to tell you... everything."_

_Olivia was crying at this point. "You're leaving?"_

_"Yeah, but I'll come back soon hopefully." Elliot said trying make this less painful. He let out a sob of his own and held Olivia tighter. "I just can't live without telling you anymore. I... it's too hard. I... love you." He said._

_Olivia closed her eyes tight hoping this was all some really bad nightmare. She wanted to go back to six months ago and stop Jenna from shooting anybody. She opened her eyes to see him looking at her with all the love in the world. Her fists clung to his shirt as he forehead leaned against his._

_"This isn't fair." Olivia choked out. Elliot pulled her back into his embrace and held her as the both cried._

_"I know. God, Liv, I know." Elliot said into her hair._

_Olivia pulled back after a minute. "I love you too." She wiped away his tears. "God, I love you so much."_

_Elliot kissed her. "It sounds so good to hear you say that." He whispered. "When I come back, I'm going to come home to you. Okay, you're my home Liv."_

_Olivia nodded and pulled him to her when he went to turn away. "Please stay tonight. Just... please."_

_Elliot closed the door with his foot and put his arm around her back. "Okay, I'll stay tonight." He kissed her head._

_That night they made love into the early hours of the morning. When they were spent, they didn't sleep. Elliot sat up against her headboard and cradled her in his lap. Saying I love yous and prayers that he would come back soon. When he said that he had to leave, they both cried prying themselves apart._

_She took that day off and stayed on her bed where it smelled like him. The lyrics to Hearts on Fire by Scars on 45 played through her head the whole day. She wanted him to come home, to her._

The past year and a half had been hard. She turned down every guy that asked her out. She missed Elliot constantly and felt like a knife was twisting inside her whenever she thought about him. Suprised that it hadn't killed her soul.

"_Hush now. Watch the stars fall into a fire wall. I'm waiting here, waiting for you to come home." _Olivia sang to calm herself. She sang this every night to her nine month old daughter. Their daughter. Olivia pulled her daugher closer as she walked around. She picked her up from Alex's.

Nikki relaxed into her mother as she sang Waiting by Norah Jones. "_Sinking embers glow, melting icy snow. I am waiting here, waiting for you to come home."_ Olivia continued. She kissed her brown haired, blue eyed girl.

Nikki grabbed onto the neclace that Olivia had made from the Semper Fi emblem Elliot gave her. "Yeah, Nikki. That's what Daddy gave me." She whispered. "I still can't believe Alex and Casey got your ears pierced."

Nikki squealed and put her hands on her mother's cheeks. "Ma!"

Olivia smiled. "Yes, that's right Nikki. I'm Ma I guess." She let a few tears fall as the happiness set in. "I love you so much Nikki."

Nikki smiled and put her hand on Olivia's mouth. Olivia smiled and pretended to eat it. Nikki squealed and did it again. "Should we go home? I think so." Olivia said turning towards her car.

She was shocked when she saw someone leaning against her car. He stood up straight. "Well, well, well, look at you." He said. He stepped into the light.

Olivia stood shocked. "How did you find me?"

"I followed the car with the same liscence plate it's had for the past 14 years." He said simply. "I want to come home."

Olivia smiled and walked over to him. "Then, do it." She kissed Elliot. "I missed you so much."

Elliot kissed her. "I missed you too."

Nikki chose to make her presence known then by putting her hand on Olivia's cheek and making a little noise. Olivia smiled at her. "Yes Nikki, I know you're here."

"Who's this little beauty queen?" Elliot asked. "I didn't know SVU is babysitting now."

Olivia smiled still looking at Nikki. "Nikki Josephine Stabler." Nikki squealed. "Yes, I know. You're name is so pretty." Olivia smiled.

Nikki turned to look at Elliot and she smiled. Elliot gasped. "She looks just like you."

"Yeah, but she's got her daddy's eyes." Olivia smiled hoping he'd catch on at this point.

"She's ours?" Elliot asked looking at the blue eyed little girl. Nikki smiled at him and pointed at him. Elliot watched as she brought her little hand to a neclace around Olivia's neck.

"That's right Nikki." Olivia smiled kissing her head. "Do you want to hold her?"

Elliot was tearing up, he was so happy. He nodded. "Yeah, I would love to." Olivia smiled and handed Nikki to Elliot. "Hey there little girl. You're a light little peanut aren't you?"

"Yeah, no kidding. Food is not a priority for her." Olivia chuckled watching her daughter interact with Elliot.

Nikki smiled at Elliot and Elliot smiled back. "She's beautiful Liv."

"Yeah, I know she is. She has your laugh." Olivia smiled. "How was Washington?"

"It was awful." Elliot said and looked at her. "You weren't there."

Olivia smiled at him and kissed him. "How'd you get here?"

"A cab." Elliot said.

"Good, you can come home with us." Olivia smiled. "Isn't that right Nikki?"

Nikki squealed and reached for Olivia. Olivia took her and kissed her. Nikki rubbed her eyes and yawned. Elliot laughed. "Somebody's tired."

"I guess so." Olivia smiled. "Do you want to ride in back with her?"

Elliot smiled. "I'd love to."

Olivia smiled and put Nikki into her carseat. Elliot settled in next to her. On the way to her apartment, the car phone rang. Olivia preshed the button. "Hello?"

"Olivia Benson!" Alex yelled.

"Alex, shhh! My daughter is asleep. What is it?" Olivia chuckled.

"Why did you take Nikki?" Alex asked.

"Uh, she's my daughter. I was taking her home." Olivia smiled. "You were sleeping in the same room as her. I just used my keys to your place."

"Well, you could have woken me up." Alex said.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "If I did, you would be begging me to let Nikki stay with you for the night."

"That's because she's so fricken cute. You have to admit, those earrings make her look adorable." Alex said.

"I don't care. You put holes in my child's ears. That's not okay." Olivia said.

"She what?" Elliot asked.

Olivia looked at him throught the rearview mirror. "Alex and Casey thought it would be fun to pierce our daughter's ears."

"WAIT A MINTUE!" Alex yelled. "Who is with you?"

"You put holes in my daughter?" Elliot yelled making sure to cover his daughter's ears.

"I know that voice... Elliot!" Alex gasped. "Nikki's father is Elliot fricken Stabler."

"Yes, Elliot is her father." Olivia huffed rubbing her forehead. "I knew all along."

Alex audibly growled. "You lied to me."

"Alex, what did you expect? You'd think that Elliot bailed on me because I got pregnant with his child." Olivia said.

"I'd never do that." Elliot said.

"I know you wouldn't." Olivia sighed.

"But he did. He's been gone for over a year." Alex said.

Olivia was getting irritated by her friend. "He didn't know. Alex, we told each other our feelings when he told me he was going to be gone for a while. He left the next morning. I just ran into him."

Alex was silent for a moment. "He's not leaving again right?"

"No, I'm staying right here." Elliot said.

"Good, I don't want to deal with the I miss Elliot stage again. It was hard enough the first time." Alex huffed.

"Thanks Alex." Olivia mumbled. "I'll call you tomorrow." She hung up the car phone and turned back to the road. She waited for the questions that Elliot would ask her, but they never came. "You usually ask questions, what's going on?"

"Nothing. I just understand how you felt. If I had to leave again, I'd be in the same boat again." Elliot said rubbing his daughter's hand. "I can't believe I missed her birth."

"I video taped it for you." Olivia smirked. "We can watch it tomorrow or something. I don't blame you, El."

"I know you don't." Elliot smiled at her. "Our daughter is so fricken adorable."

"I know, right? Sometimes I just watch her sleep. Whatever she does is so cute it makes me smile." Olivia grinned turning onto her street.

"I didn't know you moved." Elliot said looking around. It was a nice neighborhood.

Olivia smirked as she parked. "Well, Nikki needed a room and my old apartment didn't really have a sturdy door."

"Yeah, a pin could hit it and it would open." Elliot chuckled.

Olivia laughed. "Come on. Bring her in."

Olivia smiled as Elliot carried there sleeping daughter in her carseat. She laughed as Elliot looked in awe at her new apartment. "Wow, how could you afford this?"

"I dipped into the money my mom left for me. I hadn't touched it. Plus, my Nikki deserves the best." Olivia smiled and hung up her coat.

"She sure does. You both do." Elliot smiled kissing her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." Olivia smiled kissing him on the lips. "You want to put her in bed."

Elliot smiled and nodded. He took Nikki out of her carseat and followed Olivia into her room. "Oh my god!" He whispered astonished.

On the wall was a painted picture of the entire squad. He was even in it. "I know. Amanda came over here and painted it for Nikki. She painted us all on there. All she needed was a picture of each of us... she's the only one that knows your Nikki's father." Olivia said.

Elliot looked at her and smiled. "I think it's perfect. It's a nice room."

"Thanks." Olivia smiled. Elliot laid Nikki down and Olivia walked over to him. She rested her head on his shoulder. "I can't believe your back."

Elliot turned to her. "Me either. I'm so sorry I had to leave."

"Doesn't matter. You're here now. I missed you so much." Olivia said letting tears fall as she was embraced by him.

He let his own tears fall. "I did too, Liv. I thought about you every moment. Wondering what you were doing, it seemed like that was all I ever did."

"Well, you know most of it." Olivia chuckled looking at their daughter. Her little chest rose and fell slowly. "She was born on your birthday."

"Really?" Elliot asked looking down at Nikki.

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, the squad didn't get why I was so happy that her birthday fell on that day. They thought I'd be upset about it."

"Well, they didn't know. I probably would've thought the same thing if I didn't know better." Elliot said kissing her head.

"Even if you did leave without saying goodbye, I couldn't stay mad at you forever." Olivia said. "Do you want to go to bed?"

"Yeah, sure. Are you tired?" Elliot asked as she lead him to her room.

Olivia smirked at him. "Not even close. It's been over a year. We're celebrating."

**Please review! You guys are awesome!**


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